Picture this: In a two-story house, I am upstairs cooking a pizza in the oven. When the pizza is ready, I run to the fridge downstairs to grab a drink. Half way down the stairs, the smoke alarm suddenly starts going off. So I try to turn, to go back upstairs to turn it off, but the cheap slippers I'm wearing live up to their name and slip. I go down, and dislocate my right shoulder.
Now picture this: Me lying on the stairs, cursing up a storm. My german shepard is running up and down the stairs over the top of me, as he is very excited by the noise of the smoke alarm. So I get up, and stagger upstairs again. I glare at the smoke alarm for a few minutes, which is attached to the roof. There is no way I can lift my arms up high enough to get it in my present state. I walk downstairs (carefully this time) and fetch a long chunk of wood so that I can thump the smoke alarm until it turns off.
Once that's off, I pull the pizzas out and turn the oven off, figuring that this would be a very bad time for the house to burn down. I call my mate W, who has a lot of knowledge in all things medical, to ask if he knows anything about putting shoulders back in, as I've been unable to do it myself. He tells me I should call an ambulance, and that he's on the way. He also cautions me about pinched nerves etc. You see, the shoulder is a ball-and-socket joint. In a dislocation the ball comes out of the socket. When the ball goes back into the socket, it is possible to pinch a nerve or blood vessel at the same time, which can lead to complications.
After he hangs up the phone, I look down to see that my right hand is blue. It was pretty freaky, I tell you! I almost looked around to see if Gargamel was coming for me. Anyway, ambulance was called immediately, and I was advised not to move unless it was absolutely necessary.
I figured it was necessary, for a number of reasons (I had a crazy german shepard lying at my feet who may not get along with the ambos, and I needed a smoke pretty bad at this point), so I staggered downstairs AGAIN, and lit up, locking the dog inside as I did so. Both W and the ambo's must have been here within 15 minutes, but that felt like hours.
Ouch, I say. Ouch. Anyway, that was Saturday. Its now Monday. Obviously, I'm not at work. I can't drive in – my back and neck are very stiff and sore, and I just don't have any mobility in my right arm. Given the length of the drive to work, being able to change lanes would be very very nice. So, I'll try and work from home today.
I'm finding that mornings are really really bad – perhaps its the cold, or the fact I haven't moved much all night, but its pure agony when I wake up. FUN!